The Power of Asking: Why It's Okay to Seek Help

My recent three-week trip through Shenzhen, the Philippines, Taiwan, and Hong Kong, a mix of business and leisure, kept me from updating my blog and fully engaging with my more ambitious plans. While I had initially planned to keep my year's objectives private, a key action item for me this year is to actively practice asking for help. My upbringing instilled in me a strong sense of independence and self-reliance; my father taught me that I am my own primary source of support. In my family, seeking assistance is uncommon. We avoid burdening others, even with small requests, and take pride in our self-sufficiency. Similarly, in academic environments, independent problem-solving is celebrated, while asking for help is often seen as a weakness.

Initially, witnessing others achieve their goals simply by asking for help made me uneasy. I questioned why they would seek assistance when they were capable of doing things themselves. Why impose on others? Why pursue personal gain at the potential expense of someone else's time or resources? However, upon further reflection, I recognized the inherent value in their approach. They were, after all, effectively achieving their objectives. Moreover, the person being asked always has the option to decline, with no obligation to assist. This dynamic led me to ask: why not ask for help?

During my trip, I intentionally sought help from others when needed. For example, I asked:

• An Uber driver for recommendations on good restaurants and places to visit.
• The hotel for an extension of my check-out time.
• Hotel staff for an introduction to the hotel's activities.
• Restaurant staff for an explanation of the dishes, including the stories behind their names.
• Train staff for confirmation of the correct train platform.
• A storekeeper for refilling my water bottle and for the location of a bus stop.

Initially, these actions felt unnatural, as I was accustomed to handling such things independently. It wasn't easy at first, but by the second and third day, asking for help became more comfortable. I began to seek assistance more frequently and recognized the benefits. I was able to offload my mental burden and accomplish more in less time. While I often feel guilty about potentially transferring my mental load to others, I've come to realize that the other person has the freedom to decline my request, even if politeness sometimes makes it difficult. Furthermore, I am committed to reciprocating when others ask for my help. It's important to me that my requests are not driven by a desire to exploit others. I am prepared to assist others in the same way, return the favor, or even compensate them for their help.